THE ROACH

Yesterday I defended my theory about squirrels and how dangerous they can be

Only to find there are some people out there who disagree with me.

To those still under their magical spell, my heart goes out to you

For when they come for me, and they will, you’ll be taken too....

Let’s say you think squirrels are cute; you believe they’re behavior above reproach.

You have to agree with me, unless your an entomologist, about our friend the roach.

I don’t have the statistics but when all the counting’s done

I believe roaches outnumber us by about a billion to one.

If you think roaches do not plan or perhaps are not so bright

Why then do they run for the hills the minute you turn on the lights?

Because they’ve been devising a plan as they crawl over our dishes and our cups

And when you turn the lights on they know the jig is up.

Yes they don’t think I’m on to them but there can be no doubt

They are definitely planning something once the lights go out.

Why after you’ve been on vacation with your family or you spouse

Do you come home to find roach droppings scattered throughout your house?

I have seen the evidence and I’m sure that you have too

How else can you explain the things I’ve found in my barbecue?

Some are much more brazen, they must like to see you squealing

As they climb right up your walls or walk across your ceiling.

And isn’t it funny how they get their kicks by invading your personal space

When you wake up in the evening and one is walking on your face?

I believe it’s part of their higher plan, perhaps that’s how they wield their power

By accosting us at the most inopportune times, like when we’re in the shower.

How often have you tried to kill them? You’ve tried hitting, you’ve even sprayed

Only to watch them crawl through a crack the width of a razor blade.

Even if you succeed and you think you’ve killed them all

What’s the use? There are a million more scurrying inside the wall?

Still think I’m paranoid, I’m off my rocker, that you have nothing to dismay?

Well let me tell you what I observed in my yard just yesterday.

I looked out my window to see the squirrels’ and roaches I’ve been fighting

Meeting in my oak tree...I think they are uniting!