Any look back at 2013 wouldn’t be quite complete
Unless we looked at some of the moments we hope not to repeat...
He didn’t break any laws (although it was a moral misdemeanor)
When Anthony Weiner went online and posted pictures of his weiner.
And just when we thought his sordid story couldn’t get any stranger
He started texting women in the name of Carlos Danger.
Manti T’eo was in the news, the Notre Dame linebacker had regrets
When he revealed he was in love...with a girl he never met.
Marco Rubio, the Florida senator...for a while no Republican was hotter
Until, that is, the state of the union rebuttal when he chugged that glass of water.
A zoo in China promised a lion in their brochures and catalogues
Turns out their lion wasn’t a lion but a giant, furry dog.
Obama passed Obamacare, he was going to make health care right
And it might have worked if anyone could have logged on to his site.
This year saw Miley Cyrus twerking everyone as if she was possessed
And we had our fill of the Kardashians (didn’t we?) and too much Kanye West.
At Nelson Mandela’s funeral the interpreter’s signing seemed idiotic
Turns out the man so close to so many world leaders was a little bit psychotic.
There is now a new affliction that made many of us come unhitched
For it seems you can be as bad as you want as long as you are rich.
It’s true, and it’s called Affluenza ...I only have one thing to add
The whole thing, like most of these stories, would be pretty funny...if they weren’t so very sad.
I could go on and on and mention Simon Cowell’s indiscretion
And all those other politicians that had to make confessions.
But I won’t...let’s just say goodbye to these moments that were odd and unforeseen
And hope they don’t return to haunt us in 2014.
Although we probably haven’t seen the last of Miley or the Kim/Kanye duet.
And I imagine Anthony has even bigger plans for his old weiner yet.
Which makes me wonder will next year be better than this one or even more extreme?
Ah, that is the beauty of not knowing for one can hope and one can dream.
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