Ryan and Amy are getting married next month…as couples often do…
As the father of the groom in honor of their tying the knot…I thought I’d tie one too.
When I found the perfect bow tie…I knew I had to buy it…
and by my calculations I had two months in which to learn to tie it.
The bow tie, however, came with no directions…in the box just one untied tie and nothing more…but I was undeterred…after all…that’s what You Tube videos are for.
So I Googled the easiest way to tie a bow tie and a smiling man came into view…
He said this is easy…not to worry…do exactly what I do.
And I tried…I really tried to do exactly what he did…I tried with all my might…
but I realized after 70 years upon this Earth I didn’t know my left hand from my right.
And he was much too hard to follow…his hands moved too quickly to and fro…
when he was finished tying…I hadn’t even started a bow.
My confidence was beginning to wane…but I still had my tenacity…
I have put together IKEA furniture…one little bow tie would not get the better of me.
So I turned to another You Tube video…then a a third, a fourth, a fifth…
after which I was certain the easiest way to tie a bow tie was nothing but a myth.
I even printed out written directions where after each step I could stop and check…
but the finished bowtie in the picture never matched the one around my neck.
After one month of painstaking practice…I finally had it down…
When I showed Deborah she asked, “Did you mean to make it quite big…you look more like a clown.”
She was right but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make that bow tie small…
and looking like a clown at Ryan and Amy’s wedding…well that won’t do at all.
So when they tie the knot next month…
my hand tied bow tie is a fantasy I now have shed…
I wonder if Ryan and Amy would be happy….
with something from IKEA instead.
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