OUR SHARED BEATING HEART

 

We marched for peace again on Sunday…and from the very start….

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our footsteps on the ground made the sound of a beating heart.

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The march ended at a park…around a drum circle where…

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we were reminded that a beating heart is something we all share.

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It matters not the color of our skin…our country of origin…if we have different names

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for every person on this Earth…our heartbeat is the same.

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We all share this gift of life…which in itself is fleeting

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but hatred…bigotry and war can stop a healthy heart from beating

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I wish I knew the answer….how long it takes to create….

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for a heart born out of love…to fill itself with hate.

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We marched for peace…for same reason we have marched before…

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to hope and pray that no-one ever again…marches off to war.

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Because in our minds it’s simple…war and hatred and bigotry would cease

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If everybody with the same heartbeat…marched together for peace

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GOOD FRIENDS

 

There is an old adage: Good friends are hard to find…

I think that’s a somewhat pessimistic point of view

one I have found, over the years, to be anything but true.

Since retiring…on our morning walks 

we’ve been amazed how frequently we meet

the same people who walk the same time…

usually along the same streets.

Friendships that started with a smile and a wave

as we passed each other walking…

which led to ‘Hi’, 'How are you?’ ‘Have a great day!’

you know…superficial talking.

But from ‘Nice to see you’, ‘Can you believe this weather?’

‘Hey, how have you been?’

There comes a point in a friendship when you let each other in.

A point when you see them walking toward you

and you immediately wave…then smile…

knowing you’ll be stopping…just to visit for a while.

As you talk about your families…your ups and downs in life

your children, your vacations, your histories, your partner or your wife

It is at this point…this juncture as your lives begin to blend…

you realize somewhere along the way…you have become good friends.

Which is why ‘good friends are hard to find’

is an adage you’ll never hear me repeat….

because a good friend could be someone…

whom you meet along the street….

Thinking good friends are hard to find…

is truly a mistake…

because good friends aren’t something you find…

good friends are something you make.

CARTWHEELS IN THE GRASS

 

In the middle of Ava’s soccer game…somehow it came to pass

that three members of my family were doing cartwheels in the grass.

As our family grows and extends…as in and out each other’s lives we drift

any time I get to spend with my family…I consider as a gift.

It doesn’t matter what day…in whatever time or place

nothing beats the feeling of being with family…face-to-face.

Even at a soccer game…amidst parental encouragement and screams

we can find the time to talk about their current hopes and dreams.

Because every moment spent with family…with any portion of my family tree

Is bound to bring a smile to my face…and add some memories.

So I take advantage of that moment with my family…every child, every woman, every man

in the time we have together to make as many memories as I can.

It could be cheering Ava on…one of her family of soccer fans…

It could be talking with Damien and Trista about their wedding plans.

It could be, on an afternoon when the clouds blocked out the sun

talking with Ali and Trista about mimosas…pitchers….two for one.

I try to make as many memories as I can in the moment…

because once that moment’s passed…

I never know which memories will fade…

and which memories will last.

It could be Taylor talking about his new job…

or about Aden’s statistic class

or it could be something as simple…

as doing cartwheels in the grass.

A BABY BOOK

 

A man and woman…then later two men stopped in the bookstore the other day..

both excited for the same reason…each couple had a baby on the way.

Each couple was out celebrating…as expectant couples do…

Each couple hoping to find advice and perhaps some comfort in a book or two.

After both couples left the store and were happily on their way

I thought…what if every baby wrote a book to their parents…

I wonder what they’d say:

Welcome to parenthood…I’m your baby…the newest member of our family…

I’ll make this book short because from this moment on 

you’re gonna to be pretty busy…with me.

Just a little advice that, if you take, will help all of us to grow…

written in this book…10 things I’d like you to know.

You will receive a lot of good and bad advice…

and you won’t always be able to tell them apart…

so the first thing I want you to do is trust in yourself…and listen to your heart.

Don’t be alarmed when I am hurt…

when I get a bruise be there to soothe and numb it…

Remember…your job is to help me learn about life…not to protect me from it.

I will make mistakes…you will see me at my best and my worst…

If you want me to believe in myself…you must believe in me first.

I will be a baby and child for a short time…please be patient with me…

even those times I make it difficult for you to be the parents you imagined you’d be.

Finally remember to always love me…it’s the most important thing I need you to know…your love is something I will always need…the one thing I’ll never outgrow.

There are other things I could mention…other things I want you to know…

but it’s time for you to feed me…we’ll learn the rest together as we grow.

For now these 10 things will do…10 things that will help ease all our stresses and fears

at least I think it’s 10…I’m not sure…I wont learn to count for another few years.

(I imagine each baby’s book would be a little different but similar in many ways…

filled with each baby’s specific advice…10 things they’d like to say.

THE GREATEST TREASURE

 

What is the greatest treasure we can give our children?

It’s a question all parents wrestle with…

many think it’s wealth and money…but I think that’s a myth.

It could stem from the fact I didn’t make a lot of money wearing a teacher’s hat….

but we had enough and I’ve come to believe…it is much more than that.

I was home when my children were home.

If there was trouble…I was there to help them through.

I never missed a game or a concert…we had the same vacations too.

I was there to teach them things they’d never learn in school.

I was there to laugh and sing and dance with them…

I was not afraid to look like a fool…

I saw them at their best and worst behavior…

brimming with joy…or feeling sad and blue…

They saw me the same…and learned how I was human too.

When it comes to the life we have created…

when I think of each individual family member…

In the end…will it be the money…or the time spent…they’ll remember.

When my final days on earth are over…

When I’ve reached the end of my climb…

Will our final wish together be we had more money…

or will we wish for a little more time.

Yes, it’s a question all parent wrestle with…

sometimes it continues non-stop…

I'm just thankful when they wrestled in my life…

time came out on top.

PUTTING TWO WORLDS TOGETHER

For 39 years I learned from the students with Autism I was teaching.

and the most important lesson I learned…by far

was how the true greatness of a person can be judged

by how they treat those they see as different…who to them seem a little bizarre.

When we would leave the safety of our classroom and venture into the community

many times we were faced with anger…with prejudice and bigotry.

With an anger fueled by fear strangers would walk up to me and say, 

“Those people don’t belong in here..please…take them away.”

But the more I faced such animosity…the more I felt compelled

not only to teach my students about the world…

but to teach the world about my students as well.

I knew education was important to both worlds…for it is no mystery

how ignorance leads to fear…fear to prejudice…and prejudice to bigotry.

I knew understanding who a person is…the reasons for what they say and do…

is the key…initially to tolerance…and eventually acceptance too.

I knew by bringing two worlds together…when the educating is done…

we reach a point where we realize…we are not two worlds…but one.

And with a little understanding and compassion one world is where we co-exist…

where no one should ever be disparaged…belittled…or dismissed.

Our world is made up of people who are different from us…differences we cannot hide…but when we take the time to learn about each other…to look beyond our differences…we can see the human beings inside.

Allowing my students to experience my world…was my goal…my desire…my aim

and I discovered the more people who learned about my students…

the more accepting they became. 

Perhaps that is something to remember……

as our country continues highlighting all our differences…

as we continue to argue..to fight…to spar…

How the true greatness of a nation can be judged

by how it treats those who they see as different…

who to them seem a little bizarre. 

LOVE WAS ALL SHE SAID

I had some questions I wanted to ask nature on my morning walk the other day…

I figured, being nature, she’d have quite a lot to say.

I asked her about the moon and stars that sprinkle the sky at night…

why were they created and what makes them shine so bright.

Then up in the sky…from the heavens…somewhere overhead…

her answer floated down to me…”Love” was all she said.

I asked her about the trees.   

How can something that starts from an acorn or seed so small…

grow into something so magnificent…so majestic…so beautiful…so tall.

Again from up in the heavens…somewhere overhead…

her answer floated down to me…”Love” was all she said.

I asked her about the ocean…from atop her surface to her deepest depths below…

where does she draw her strength and what makes her tides to ebb and flow.

For the third time from the heavens…somewhere overhead…

her answer floated down to me…”Love” was all she said.

I continued asking questions…and “Love” was the only answer I ever heard…

I was beginning to wonder if nature’s vocabulary was limited to that one word.

But what if that one word is the answer…

what if that is her explanation… her message…her creed…

what if she’s trying to tell us…love is all we need.

What if this is the only message she’ll float to us…down from the heavens above…

until we show her we all understand what she means when she says ‘Love’.

I imagine once we truly understand her message…nature will celebrate the day…

and only when we understand love…will she have more to say. 

ONE LESSON HE'LL NEVER FORGET

 

She taught him many things in their lifetime together but it is his fervent belief 

one of her greatest teachings was how to handle someone else’s grief.

Life will jump from joy to sorrow and, though, we’d love for joy to stay 

into our life, ready or not, sorrow finds a way.

She taught him how sharing joy is easy…filled with happiness, and cheers…

but how sorrow is more difficult to share…filled with grief, sadness, and tears.

There were times he found her grieving…when his heart for her would yearn…

and he would try so hard…too hard..to help her joy return.

Until he finally learned the lesson she was trying to teach him…

a lesson he’ll never forget…

how there will be times he hopes for joy…but she’s not ready yet.

It was one of the most difficult lessons he ever had to learn…

how to be loving, kind and patient while waiting and hoping for her joy to return.

How some things in life cannot be fixed…

how she wasn’t looking for a guide…

how she just wanted someone to hold her…

and sit quietly by her side.

Someone to let her be sad…

how it’s enough just knowing that he cares…

knowing once her grief’s subsides…he’ll still be sitting there….

Yes, he finally learned the lesson she’d been teaching

since the first day that he met her…

how sometimes a person needs to feel bad…

before they can feel better.

DONAAGOHVI

 

The Cherokee Indians have no word for goodbye.

Goodbye is never said…

If someone dies or leaves

Donadagohvi (doe-na-dah-go-huh-ee) is voiced instead.

Hoping they will see that person

they know not where or when…

Donadagohvi simply means

until we see each other again.

I love that concept…no farewell statement

as one soars off to the sky.

No adios…no swan song.

No need to say goodbye.

There is some comfort in believing

they will again be seen…

no matter how long the interlude…

how much time or distance in between.

Of course if you followed the teachings of the Cherokee:

If you believe in patience, in lending a helping hand,

if you believe the land does not belong to you

but you belong to the land…

If you believe in balance, in working together 

for the benefit of Earth and Sky,

if you believe in always doing what is right…

then when it comes your time to die…

You will see your loved ones gathered round you.

You will smile at them…and then…

as you look each person in the eye

you'll say donadagohvi…

until we see each other again…

OUR FAMILY TABLE

 

When our children were growing up…

when life was simpler and our routines a little more stable…

we met for breakfast, lunch and dinner around our family table.

Our table saw our children’s laugher

felt their tears…and heard their screams.

It helped them with their homework…it was privy to their dreams.

That table is still a family table…

over the years it hasn’t lost it’s touch…

But…with our children grown and moved away…it isn’t used as much.

We recently had dinners with different portions of our family…

to show how life’s a little less stable…

different family members…in different cities…

at different restaurants…around different tables.

Our latest family dinner…was a 30 minute jaunt..

to meet Ali, Damien. Trista and Taylor at an Indian restaurant.

And I got to thinking as our family’s grown 

how we get together wherever we can…with whomever’s able…

and how any table we’re sitting at…becomes our family table.

Around that table we reconnect as a family

we see the laughter, feel the tears and hear the screams…

and though there’s no more homework anymore…

we still listen to each other’s dreams.

Nowadays as I sit and listen to whatever portion of our family is there…

in whatever seat I may have landed…

I’m always smiling thinking how…

over the years

our family table has expanded.

THANK YOU DR. B

 

One of the wonders of life…like when winter turns to spring…

is how you never know what surprises the next season…the next moment will bring.

For instance: yesterday started out ordinary but turned in to so much more

when we saw our old pediatrician exiting our grocery store.

Immediately, without looking, I knew where Deborah’s mind was going to go…

back to those check-ups with Ryan and Dr. B…42 years ago.

Deborah remembers Dr. B fondly…how she was always so knowledgeable…so calm…

how she helped ease the fears and apprehensions that came with being a new mom.

Skip ahead to our grandson, Damien, when the doctor we needed to see…

without question in those moments…we turned to Dr. B.

And we all remember Dr. B fondly…how she was so knowledgeable and calm…

how she eased the fears and apprehensions of a new, much younger, mom.

Yes, Dr. B was our children’s pediatrician…but she was so much more than that…

She was a therapist…a teacher…a friend…a confidant…a consultant…a diplomat.

But when I suggested we walk over and say hi to Dr B…

Deborah balked saying after all these years she won’t remember me.

But…“Dr. B! Is that you.” I asked ignoring Deborah’s anxiety with a shrug…

She turned around and smiled then gave Deborah a hug.

They talked a while reminiscing about those bygone days…

Then Deborah thanked her not only for ours 

but for all the children and families she helped raise.

Some people enter our lives for a short time…a brief interlude….

and are gone before we have the chance to show our gratitude. 

What a wonderful surprise…getting to thank Dr. B

for the family she helped create…

proving when it comes to gratitude…

a thank you can never be delivered too late.

THE DANCER'S SMILE

 

We saw Riverdance last night (WOW!!) and as I watched these beautifully talented young professionals glide across the stage in front of me…

my mind wandered back a few years to an old man (not a professional) who use to dance down by the sea.

We would see him on the beach as the sun was setting…his arms and legs flailing everywhere…he danced relaxed…uninhibited…without a worry or a care.

One day we found the courage to ask him if he’d help us understand…what he was doing out there on the beach…dancing in the sand.

“I just love to dance.” He said. “It’s something my heart craves…and out her on the beach I find my rhythm with the waves.”

“I close my eyes and listen as the waves dance upon the shore…and then I dance…and dance…and dance…and then I dance some more.”

“When I’m dancing I become part of the wind as she dances through the trees…and I go soaring with the birds as they dance upon the breeze.”

“What good is life if we can’t enjoy it?” He smiled. “If every step we’re not enhancing…I don’t care if people laugh or stare…because…I’m too busy dancing.”

We thanked him for taking time away from his dance to help us understand…and we left him smiling on that beach as he danced across the sand.

It’s the same smile I saw las night on the dancers as they glided across the stage in front of me…

A dancer’s smile that can be found on young professionals as they dance together by the river…

or on an old man..all alone…as he dances by the sea.

THE THINGS CANCER CAN'T DO

 

When we found out a friend of ours has cancer…

the news immediately darkened our day.  

We wondered how we can help her on this journey fate created…

what can we do or say?

She knows all the things cancer can do…

She’s been to the doctors…read the literature too.

Perhaps, we thought, the best plan of attack…

is to remind her what cancer can’t do.

Cancer cannot take away her sense of humor…

with her memories cancer can’t elope.

Cancer cannot poison the friendship we’ve built…

or shatter our faith…and our hope.

Cancer cannot erode our feelings.

It cannot make the love we feel end…

Cancer cannot stop us from being there…whenever our friend needs a friend.

We can let her know it doesn’t matter where we might be…

any place…anywhere…any time…

If she needs us we will be there 

as this next mountain in life she must climb.

I suppose the best thing we can do when a friends has cancer…

is just show them how much we care…

and through the darkness that has descended on all of us…

do our best to shine a little light into theres. 

TWO MOTHER'S GLOW

When a woman becomes a mother…when inside she begins to feel her child grow…

those of us lucky enough to witness this miracle…notice how that mother-to-be glows.

And as her children grow…a mother shows her love for them a little every day…

a love she still feels, but doesn’t always get to show, when they grow up and move away.

As Amy and Ryan make the final preparations for their upcoming wedding day…

The love of their two mothers, Sue and Deborah…is now on full display.

When I see them I think back to when Amy and Ryan were babies and all the times in those early years…when the love they felt within their hearts got whispered in their baby’s ears.

How many times did they hug them…rest their chins on their heads from above…

smile…and tell them in a whisper…the secret to a mother’s love?

How thy loved them from the moment they felt their life begin…

How they love them every time they breathe out…

and every time they breathe in.

How they’ll never stop loving them…

How they’ll never ignore, disgrace or doubt them…

How they’ll never stop thinking or worrying…

or wishing or dreaming about them.

A secret shared between every mother and child…

that is easier to show than to explain…

a secret throughout the years…whispered over and over again.

When I’m blessed to bask in their mother’s love…even for a little while

When I see how they look at their children…when I see how that makes them smile..

I think about that glow new mothers-to-be have…a glow that’s easy to discern…

and I think in these two mothers…

even after all these years

how quickly that glow returns.

 

THE EVER-CHANGING FACE OF LOVE

 

I saw this old couple holding hands as they walked into the store

I’ve seen them walking….holding hands…a hundred times before.

Since we kind of know each other…before they headed out

I asked if they would answer a question…something I was curious about.

“I’ve seen how you walk hand in hand.” I said

“I’ve seen how into each other’s eyes you stare.

I was wondering is there a secret to your love…

something, perhaps, you’d like to share.”

Although they took turns talking…and quickly their responses came…

I shall not distinguish their voices…because their message was the same.

We can think of nothing more magnificent…more beautiful…more sublime

than that feeling of elation when we fell in love for the very first time.

But from that moment we first fell in love…time continued flowing 

and we continued changing as we continued growing….

The beauty of our love is that even as we’ve changed…

as all people and couples do…

we’ve been lucky because our love has changed and evolved too.

Which means…since we’re not the same people we were back then…

we get that feeling of falling in love for the first time…over and over again.

If falling in love for the first time is special…unique in it’s own way…

Imagine what it’s like falling in love for the first time…with the same person every day.

With that they gave each other a little kiss…then as they’d done a hundred times before…they held each other’s hand as they walked together out the door.

BREADCRUMBS ON HER GRAVE

 

She loved visiting her grandma…at Grandma’s everything just seemed right…

She especially loved those times she got to spend the night.

Because as she grew she began to find comfort in the wisdom of Grandma’s words…

Her favorite moments were sitting under the stars…and in the morning…feeding the birds.

“Sometimes when you’re not here I get lonely.” Grandma said in a sad but hopeful tone.

“But when I talk to the stars or visit with the birds…I don’t feel so alone.”

At night Grandma would point up…then squint…looking through one eye

and teach her the names of the stars…her friends up in the sky.

In the morning once the two of them had rolled out of their beds

Grandma would introduce her to the birds in her backyard as they fed them crumbs of bread.

She was remembering these moments as they left the house for Grandma’s funeral…

“Wait! I’ll only be a minute.” She said 

then she ran back in the house and came out with a loaf of bread.

When the funeral was over…she gave her Grandma a tearful wave..

then began to sprinkle bread crumbs gently around her grave.

“What are you doing?” Her mother whispered…coming up behind her.

“Sprinkling bread crumbs, Mom.” She said. “So the birds know where to find her.”

“The bread will bring her friends the birds…of this I have do doubt.

The birds will keep her company during the day…until the stars come out.”

As she leaned against her mother she said…in a sad but hopeful tone…

“This is the best way I can think of…so Grandma will never be alone.”

To this day when she visits…

she still gives her Grandma a wave…

then as she’s done so many times…

she sprinkles breadcrumbs on her grave.

THE BOW TIE WINS

 

Ryan and Amy are getting married next month…as couples often do…

As the father of the groom in honor of their tying the knot…I thought I’d tie one too.

When I found the perfect bow tie…I knew I had to buy it…

and by my calculations I had two months in which to learn to tie it.

The bow tie, however, came with no directions…in the box just one untied tie and nothing more…but I was undeterred…after all…that’s what You Tube videos are for.

So I Googled the easiest way to tie a bow tie and a smiling man came into view…

He said this is easy…not to worry…do exactly what I do.

And I tried…I really tried to do exactly what he did…I tried with all my might…

but I realized after 70 years upon this Earth I didn’t know my left hand from my right.

And he was much too hard to follow…his hands moved too quickly to and fro…

when he was finished tying…I hadn’t even started a bow.

My confidence was beginning to wane…but I still had my tenacity…

I have put together IKEA furniture…one little bow tie would not get the better of me.

So I turned to another You Tube video…then a a third, a fourth, a fifth…

after which I was certain the easiest way to tie a bow tie was nothing but a myth.

I even printed out written directions where after each step I could stop and check…

but the finished bowtie in the picture never matched the one around my neck.

After one month of painstaking practice…I finally had it down…

When I showed Deborah she asked, “Did you mean to make it quite big…you look more like a clown.”

She was right but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make that bow tie small…

and looking like a clown at Ryan and Amy’s wedding…well that won’t do at all.

So when they tie the knot next month…

my hand tied bow tie is a fantasy I now have shed…

I wonder if Ryan and Amy would be happy….

with something from IKEA instead.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE

Of all the compassionate but feeble words I could list to help make one’s apprehension stop…I believe I’d have to place ‘Don’t Worry’ at or near the top.

For whenever love opens a door into our heart…how often do we find…

as joy and happiness enter…worry isn’t far behind.

Take parenting for instance…we worry when our babies are sleeping

we worry when they crawl…we worry if they’ll ever walk…

then we worry they might fall.

From here our worry never stops…

no matter how old they are…how independent…how strong…

wherever they choose to go in life…our worry tags along.

And the more we love…the more we worry…

of this I have no doubt…

children, grandchildren, friends, pets…our Earth

these are all things we worry about.

How is it possible, you ask, to worry about so many things at the same time…

this is the answer I have found:

When t comes to worry…it’s a lot like love…there’s more than enough to go around.

It’s not that we worry all the time…we don’t

It’s just once love has entered in…

It doesn’t take a whole lot…for our worry to begin…

Worry is like a dolphin…it never really sleeps or takes a break…

Even when one eyes is sleeping…the other one’s awake…

So keep in mind when you tell someone, ‘Don’t Worry’

These words…most likely…they will shun…

Because when it comes to those we love…

‘Don’t Worry’ 

will always be easier said…than done.

 

TWO MOTHERS

 This story is about a mother and her little girl…and another mother and her little boy…

and how sometimes in life sadness and sorrow is linked with happiness and joy.

After years of happiness with her son…we find one mother crying

from the news his heart is failing…and her son is slowly dying.

The other mother and her daughter used to laugh and sing and play…

their life was one of happiness and joy…until fate took her daughter away.

The mother of the daughter in the midst of her sorrow decided to give

her daughter's healthy heart away…so that someone else could live.

So the doctors took her healthy heart and when the surgeries were done…

the one mother’s daughter’s heart now beats in the other mother’s son.

They meet up occasionally though they live quite far apart…

so one mother can thank the other 

and the other mother can listen to her daughter’s heart.

I imagine there will always be a mix of emotions…sorrow tinged with joy

when the one mother sees the gift of life flowing in her little boy.

I imagine in her heart sorrow and joy will also swirl…

when the other mother closes her eyes and thinks of her little girl.

But what I’ve learned from one mother and her little daughter and another mother and her little boy…is that sometimes amid the depths of sorrow can be found a little joy.

Certainly that’s not always the case 

as sorrow is not easy to mend…

but it’s nice to know every now and then

It’s joy instead of sorrow that wins out in the end.