SQUIRREL VS MAN

Deborah thinks I’m paranoid but let me give my theory a whirl

I believe we must be very weary of our little friend the squirrel.

Here’s an example: when Deborah and I walk in the morning there’s a squirrel in every tree…and I can’t help but get the feeling that they’re all watching me.

Oh, when I look at them they pretend to play…they run and jump without a care or fear

but I know…they know…I know they’re not as innocent as they appear.

And don’t get me started on the bird feeder…it’s where squirrels have the gall

to devise elaborate plans for reaching the food…so they can have it all!

I’ve even seen them work in tandem, one distracts me, I give chase

while the other climbs into the bird feeder and quickly feeds his face.

When I scare the one out of the feeder…as he runs away I give chase

while in the feeder…the other squirrel…is filling up his face.

They hang from the roof, they jump from the trees…somehow they always find…

a way to circumvent any defensive strategy I have designed.

It wouldn’t be so bad but, you see, squirrel’s don’t share their theft…

they will sit in that bird feeder eating…until there are no seeds left. 

I used to believe since I am bigger than they are…I must be smarter too…

but over time I’ve come to realize…only one of those is true.

One final statistic. Did you know when all the counting’s done

It seems that squirrels outnumber humans…by a score of 3 to 1.

So tell me…am I being paranoid or am I the only one whose wise?

Am I as crazy as Deborah thinks…or are squirrels planning my demise?

As you make your judgement think of all the squirrels that frequent your life too

and remember it’s not paranoia….if it actually is true.