GLITTER BEARD

I was intrigued when I saw it on the internet…

as this holiday season neared

I thought, “Hey wouldn’t it be cool this year…

to put glitter in my beard.”

Bryan tried it in his beard this year…

and it worked just like a song

So I thought...a little glitter in my beard...

what could possibly go wrong?

We ordered something called beard oil…

and when it came in the mail we cheered…

It’s what we would use to guarantee

the glitter stayed upon my beard.

We chose to use silver glitter…

and every bottle in the house we commandeered 

safe in the knowledge that silver glitter 

would add a sparkle to my beard.

And it did…

for a while I had these wonderful sparkles throughout my mustache and my beard

But as the evening party wore on…

my sparkles disappeared.

Anyone I hugged or touched or walked by was besmeared

by little flakes of silver glitter 

that had escaped from off my beard.

People had it on their cheeks, their clothing…

in fact everywhere I peered

Sparkling in the sunlight…flecks of glitter from my beard.

Everywhere I sat or walked or breathed 

glitter sprinkled itself below

I even found it in places on my body…

it was never meant to go

Brushing, sweeping, showering…

my world turned eerie, strange and weird

As I tried desperately to remove the glitter 

that had fallen from my beard.

Alas, today no matter how hard I try 

it seems some of the glitter has adhered

to everything in the world I possess…

and yes there’s still some in by beard.

But I remain undeterred…

next year to make the glitter in my beard prolong…

I’ll attach it with hairspray or better yet Elmers glue…

I mean what could possibly go wrong?.