Teen Choice Awards

I was flipping through the channels, perhaps a little bored

When I landed on a program called Teen Choice Awards.

I thought it might be interesting to see which teens had won

Even though I ceased to be a teen in 1971.

But I thought of myself as ‘with it’ at least as ‘with it’ as I was before

Until my wife told me that people don’t say ‘with it’ anymore.

So I kept watching the proceedings ignoring her little slur

And wondering why everybody looked so young and why I didn’t know who they were.

“Am I really that out of it today,” I foolishly asked my mate

“You’ve been out of it,” she smiled and said, “since 1988.”

In truth it’s been a few years...I think it was 1995

Since I stayed up for Letterman or Saturday Night Live.

Yes, I think Jimmy Kimmel’s funny and Jimmy Fallon’s great

And I’d be tuning in to see them if they weren’t on so late.

No, I’m not a teenager anymore...hopefully I grew up along the way

In many ways I’m glad I’m not a teenager today.

For this world moves much faster than when I was once a teen.

(I’m sure there are plenty of you out there who know just what I mean.)

Perhaps I’m not a teenager...perhaps I’ll get no awards for being PHAT

But since I have no idea what PHAT is I guess I’m OK with that.

After the award show I kept flipping channels somewhat dejectedly

Until I found a Matlock rerun...now that’s must see TV!