Wednesday, March 15, 2023

CEMETERY OF THE HEART REVISITED

 

Recently, after a long battle which cancer…a battle that lasted years…

our friend’s daughter’s lost her battle…which brought us both to tears.


Cancer! How I hate that word because from the moment the battle begins

no matter how hard a person fights…sometimes cancer wins.


There is no right way to cope with death, despite what the experts say

we muddle through our sadness our anger…sometimes we wonder why we pray.


I don’t know how her parents will ever accept their cherished daughter is gone

I wonder how from this moment…they ever will move on. 


There isn’t a person among us who has ever taken a breath

that hasn’t had to deal with loss,…and try to cope with death.


I’ve lost my mom and dad and other family and friends

It’s a basic fact of living that someday life will end.


At first the memory is fresh and the sadness can paralyze

then slowly one day out of the sadness we come to realize


that the one we lost would not want us to remain sad forevermore

and we try to go on living as we once lived before.


It’s as if when death infects us, in an instant, overnight

our world that once was filled with color, turns to black and white.


Then slowly with the help of family and friends the healing begins

and one day, if we are blessed, the color seeps back in.


And we’re able to store our memories with all the memories of those who depart

in a place I like to think of as the cemetery of the heart.


It’s a quiet, solemn place that in our heart has no parallel.

The final resting place where our fondest memories go to dwell.


Where we can walk among them any hour of any day

so the one we lost forever is never far away.


I know this may sound corny, this belief I am revealing

and I know it’s no consolation for the grief our friends are feeling


But when the burden of their grief begins to lighten…when their healing process starts

I hope their fondest memories of their daughter find a quiet place in the cemetery of their heart.

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

AN OCEAN OF MEMORIES

 

I like to think all my memories are floating…some separate…some combined…

in an every-deepening ocean…somewhere in the recesses of my mind.


Sometimes as I walk along the shore when sparked by a feel, a taste, a smell…or something I might see…a memory will ride a wave and splash all over me.


Sometimes I scoop up a handful of memories…just to quench my thirst….

Sometimes I’ll wade in slowly…other times…head first.


Yesterday while driving our two eldest grandson’s to the airport…

(they’re off to visit their Texas family)

once we set out on the road…a wave splashed over me.


It was the four of us one summer in North Carolina when they visited for a couple weeks…to spend some time with Deborah and I…

and enjoy those Blue Ridge Mountain peaks.


MC Hammer’s song ‘U Can’t Touch This’ was big that summer…this was the first wave to him by chance…I remember the four of us turning up the volume as around the house we danced.


And here is one of the benefits of having an ocean of memories that over the years are allowed to float free….because in my memory I’m a much better dancer than I am in reality. 


Another benefit of having an ocean of memories is how other memories follow that first wave and always make me smile…

as I found myself, while driving, also swimming in them for a while.


We said goodbye to our grandsons at the airport…

hoping they’ll have memories to add to their oceans…

memories they’ll never forget…

for me the drive back home was a pleasant one…

you see…I hadn’t finished swimming yet.

Monday, March 13, 2023

A GOOD DAY IN BETWEEN


I love celebrating the big moments in our life while we’re alive on planet Earth….

birthdays…weddings…family reunions…holidays and births.


These big moment are special to us…we know exactly what they mean…

but there’s also a place within my heart for all those little moments in between.


A morning walk to watch the sun rise on a shore devoid of crowds…

listening to the rhythm of the waves while the sunlight paints the clouds.


Sitting down to breakfast together…doing crosswords…watching the morning news…

getting all excited about a new ’T’ shirt…or a brand new pair of shoes.


Taking a ride to buy the best key lime cookies which we may or may not share…

sitting together in silent contentment knowing the other person’s there.


Receiving a text from our children or grandchildren…any time…day or night….

which always brings a smile….knowing they took the time to write.


Watching the sun set back into the water…drawing peace signs in the dirt…

listening to the rain…having ice cream for dessert…


Yesterday was a day of little moments…no big moments of which I am aware…

but in the midst of these little moments…I found much comfort there.


I believe these little moments…where life and living coincide…

is where, if we are lucky…our joy and happiness reside.


Yes, I love celebrating the big moments…

what they represent and all they’e come to mean….

but I am convinced what gives life its meaning and its beauty…

are all those little moments…in between. 

Sunday, March 12, 2023

WONDERING

 

In the quiet of the morning with the full moon overhead 

I like to set my mind to wandering while I’m walking…

but sometimes it goes wondering instead: 


I wonder about beauty…what a wonderful and harmonious world this could be……

if everyone saw beauty in everyone and everything they see? 


I wonder if pride is important to a peacock? Does a cheetah dream of speed?

Does strength matter to an elephant…or size to a centipede?


I wonder if beauty is valued by a butterfly…or approval by a honeybee?

and if these aren’t important to other creatures…

I wonder…should they matter much to me?


I wonder about differences…

when we meet someone who’s different from us…

then get to know them…then we evolve into friends…

perhaps our differences shouldn't matter in the beginning…

since they don’t matter in the end.


I wonder about courage…for isn’t the truest form of bravery ever made

coming face to face with a fear when we’re the only one who knows we are afraid? 


I wonder about babies…who, like acorns in the snow,

need warmth and love and nurturing if they ever are to grow…


I wonder how many parents understand how tall and strong their tree will grow…

depends on how they care for…their acorn in the snow.


Well, I’m back home…my morning walk is over…

and I must admit my heart feels a little brighter

my mind a little clearer…

and my soul a little lighter 


This is what often happens in the quiet of the morning 

with the full moon overhead 

when I set my mind to wandering…

but it goes wondering instead.


Saturday, March 11, 2023

THE LAST THING ON MY MIND



I am sad this morning…Yes, I’m sad at how divided our country has become…

but as tragic as this is…politics is not where my sadness is coming from.


Yes, I’m sad so many politicians and people think freedom gives them the right to hate and be unkind…but, truthfully…this morning politics is the last thing on my mind.


I’m sad for people with cancer, Alzheimer’s, ALS…those with devastating diseases trying with every ounce of courage just to stay alive…

I’m sad all I have to offer them are friendship in their battle to survive.


I’m sad for anyone who’s unemployed…anyone living in poverty…all those hungry and homeless who tonight will not sleep in the comfort of a bed…

Sad for those who are out there struggling just to keep themselves or their families fed.


I’m sad when it comes to Mother Earth why we don’t make more of an attempt…to treat her with the love and caring she deserves instead of our apathy and contempt.


I’m sad all people aren’t treated as equals…sad as a species we haven’t found a way 

to celebrate our differences…instead of letting them get in the way.


So please forgive me if I don’t think about politics today…about politicians or politics of any kind…today they do not matter to me…I have more important things on my mind.


Although it does lead me to wonder…

if we concentrated on what really matters in life…

on each other, on being loving, compassionate and kind…

if we spent our time on these…

then politics would always be the last thing on our minds. 

Friday, March 10, 2023

ALL THE MES


“How old are you?” I asked a young girl wearing a birthday hat…

She held up two fingers and proudly exclaimed, “I am three!”

“And who are you?” I chuckled…She answered quickly, “I am me!”


Here I had to stop and wonder…how would I reply

if someone asked me for an answer to the question, ‘Who am I?’


For who I am is not an easy question to fully comprehend…

‘I am me’ is a wonderful answer…but, in truth, it all depends.


I am a child whenever I eat ice cream…or dance out in the rain.

I am a friend when I share another friends happiness…or help them through their pain.


I am a husband when I kiss Deborah good night…or look into her eyes.

I am a child again when at a carnival trying to win a prize.


I am a father to our three children…even when they’re grown and far away.

I am a brother, an uncle, a cousin…all in the same day.


I am a PopPop who has been a horse and a magician with his own magic show

I’m an old man who feel blessed to have watched his children and grandchildren grow.


It seems that I am a variety…a multitude of mes…

each like a single drop of water that make us the oceans and the seas.


So if you ask me ‘Who am I?’ Although ‘I am me!’ is certainly true…

It all depends on where I am, who I’m with or who I’m talking to.


And when I stop to think about it…I love looking at life this way…

never knowing when the day begins…how many mes I’ll be today.


As for that little girl in the birthday hat…as she left the store waving and sucking her thumb…I had to smile as I began to picture all the mes she will become… 

Thursday, March 9, 2023

DOWNHILL ALL THE WAY

 

I live in Florida which is relatively flat…this means most of the time

the paths I walk are smooth and even…there are no hills to climb.


Today as I stepped out of my house the first thing I noticed was the trees…

reacting, just like me, to a gentle morning breeze.


Then…somewhere in the distance…in a tree…devoid of light…

rising from the darkness…an owl hooted her good-night.


Next the first bird to awaken began to sing her morning tune…

as that same breeze that moved the trees…pushed the clouds across the moon.


Up ahead, just around the corner…they always wait for me to pass….

a pair of rabbits with their silent smiles…sitting in the grass.


Soon more birds began to sing…a host of birds I could not see…

adding their distinctive voices to this morning’s symphony.


I did not know the melody…or the words to their morning song…

but, in just above a whisper, I began to hum along.


With my morning starting out like this…I know the rest of my day.  

even though I live in Florida…will be downhill all the way